kellystowell: (Default)
2014-10-11 10:14 am
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I am so obsessed with this song, right now.

And hello, if you're still hanging around and wondering if I am still kicking.

I am still kicking. I've been in Savannah, GA for just shy of two months. School is moving right along, and I *think* I'm enjoying it. Sometimes it's hard to tell, ya know? Sometimes it's just hard to tell. Sometimes I feel like the biggest fraud in the universe. Sometimes I wonder what in the hell they saw in me when they asked me to come here. Sometimes I wonder why I have to be here at this point in my life...fifty years old, single (for God's sake...still), completely undone. Maybe I needed to come undone.

Then there are those other days...those days when everything clicks, and I think, "Ah, this is why!"

I have a cute little apartment full of fun things and kitchy things. I am blessed with wonderful friends, both at home, and my BFF, who is only sixish hours away. The weather is still very humid and sticky. I'm told that it's going to go beautiful just *any* day, now. I have a sweet beach bike that I roll around town on. I have my little Murph truck, who mostly sits on the street, and gets driven, maybe, a couple times a week. I found the gym that is free to SCAD students, and its pretty fine...I just need to get myself there on a regular basis. I have a Voice lesson guy who seems to really want to collaborate about my voice, instead of just pound me with "this is what you're singing"...which is sort of a relief. After my voice teacher at home, I was really worried if I was going to get some ass...because Diane was so awesome, and I really liked that she let me pick my music. Anyway, Jamie Keena is my dude, here...and I really like him, but MAN I wish he could play the piano better. It's hard to hit the right notes when he's fumbling. But you know...nobody's perfect.

I *am* lonely. Sometimes it's all I can do to just sit in it. My fellow students are friendly, but you know...half my age (as is normal, but this group is...they have a strange vibe). Most of the time, age really doesn't seem to matter, but for whatever reason, this group has a really strong clicque attachment to one another. So...I just do my thing, and occupy my space, and try to manifest in not-terribly-destructive ways. My teachers are not warm and fuzzy, at all. Usually I have one or two that I really jive with...but not so much, here. I mean, they're not mean, or anything, they're just ... in a bubble, or something. I don't know. Of course I've only been here for what amounts to five weeks of school. Speaking of that, this coming week is midterm.

I hope that y'all are well, and happy and content. If you're not those things, I hope that you are working to make those things happen for yourselves...because nobody else can do it for ya.